FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
These tits shall not be calmed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
