Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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