I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
