So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Please don't give away my fajitas
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