i would punch a child for taco bell
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
