We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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