just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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