the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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