she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
