just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
