Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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