I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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