He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
