I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
