So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
