he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
