Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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