Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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