Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
