I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am full of burrito and curiosity
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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