you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
