I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
