you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
