How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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