I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
