OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
