Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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