Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
