I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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