i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
