Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
