Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
