He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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