I don't think brook has ever known best
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
