We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize