He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
