Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
