You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am naked and annoyed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
