In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
