Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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