AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
