oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
