READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
