Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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