If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
