Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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