tell your sister to shave her snatch
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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