the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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