Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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