I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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