I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
