Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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