I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
