So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
