Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
