OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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