He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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