I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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