I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
