But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
