Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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