we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
