Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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